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When we begin our journey into Sexual Consciousness, we are introduced to the concept of Innocent Intimacy. Although this is a Tantric concept, I believe it is something everyone should bring into their lives regardless of whether or not they choose to adopt other Tantric practices.

So often we attach feelings of guilt to our desire for intimacy. We feel ashamed of ourselves and judge ourselves for it, believing it to be something that is wrong or improper. These feelings are there because of the way we are introduced to and educated about intimacy throughout our lives. We are forced to disconnect from our sexuality at a very early age. Told to keep our desires private, to lock them away in a box that has been carefully constructed by society.

“When we return to innocence, we begin to forgive ourselves for our desires, and this allows us to experience pleasure in a conscious, guilt-free way.”

In Tantra, we open ourselves up to the understanding that all our desires for intimacy are innocent at their core. Once we begin to understand that intimate desire comes from a place of innocence that exists within all of us, we can truly open up about what we want. Once we can open up and be honest with ourselves without shame or guilt, we are then able to open up to our partners without shame or guilt. By opening these channels of guilt-free communication, we begin to create possibilities and find true fulfilment in our intimate experiences.

When we return to innocence, we begin to forgive ourselves for our desires, and this allows us to experience pleasure in a conscious, guilt-free way. We also learn to stop attaching ourselves to external things and begin to find fulfilment internally, thus, our attitude to external things will naturally shift as we move from feeling empty to feeling full, and once we are full, we can share.

There is a very simple meditation you can do on your own to better acquaint yourself with the idea of Innocent Intimacy. Once you have done this a few times and are comfortable with the process, you can even bring your partner in and share the experience.

Innocent Intimacy Meditation

First, let’s take a few minutes to truly settle into the space. Relax. Remember, nobody can read your thoughts. Nobody is looking at you. This experience is for you, and you alone.

You are here now. There is nowhere else you need to be. So be here. Be in this place. Be in this moment and be truly conscious of the experience you are about to have.

Close your eyes and begin to breathe. In your own time. At your own pace. In whatever way feels most comfortable to you.

Let these breaths be the deepest, most satisfying breaths you have taken all day.

As you breathe, I want you to become aware of your heart centre. That place within you where all things love originate. That place where all things human begin and end.

Breathe deeply into your heart centre. Feel it wake up and come to life as you fill it with nourishing oxygen and when you breathe out, breathe out from that heart centre, radiate that energy and that warmth that you feel, push it out from within.

With each heart breath, come into your consciousness and set your intentions from a place of pure love.

If you could receive any kind of intimacy right now, what would it be? Do not think about your answer. Sometimes we automatically think that we want the full 4 course meal when all we really want is the starter. Whatever it is, don’t judge it. Don’t edit it. Let it be.

When you have realised the type of intimacy you would most want to receive, take a moment to imagine receiving it. Right now, in this moment. How does it make you feel? What sort of inner sensations is it bringing to you?

Begin to meditate on those feelings. Focus on them entirely. Watch them as if they were the most fascinating things in existence.

Once you have them, begin to let go of the external experience itself and focus only on the feelings and sensations that have been generated within you.

Now go deeper. What do these sensations feel like? Where in your body are they located? Where is the energy manifesting itself? Does it rest or move? It is important to get in touch with the ENERGY of the experience as opposed to the experience itself. Do not attempt to control it. Do not try to make something happen. Simply watch, feel and observe, no matter how subtle or strong it is.

Use your breathing to make space for these sensations. Notice how your breathing affects the things you are feeling. Does it intensify them? Does the energy shift?

When you are ready to complete this meditation, place a loving hand over your body where the sensations felt the strongest. Thank that energy. Thank your body. Thank the sensations of your own pleasure.

Now open your eyes and look around. Take notice of how the world looks now that you have spent some time fully entering and experiencing the sensations of your own pleasure.